


Latte Art Is What You Are; Art Of a God

by Ares_e



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz has a cute Rottie mastiff mix named Lucifer, Baz is a barista, Dev Niall and Baz are all best bros, Like a smidge, M/M, Mainly Baz pov, Maybe - Freeform, Pining Idiots, Simon is Obsessed with Baz, Videogamer!simon, and a vlogger, baz is obsessed with Simon, beautyguru!simon, dev and Niall are gay for each other too lmao, how do you tag?, no angst just fluff, ok a little bit of angst, penny bunce is seen in simons videos a lot, simon does so many things on his channel and his fans just accept it cuz they love him, simon is a YouTuber also, the friends Baz has always needed, vlogger!baz, youtuber!baz, youtuber!simon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-28 12:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20063794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ares_e/pseuds/Ares_e
Summary: “What do you think I am.” He means his YouTube channel but I mean more when I say“Latte art is what you are.” I cover it up though, “but only when you do it.”“Hey!” He says indignantly but he’s laughing so I know not to feel guilty. I still regret not just complimenting him.(Not complete/discontinued)





	1. Chapter 1

I’m currently on shift at the coffee shop I live near. I opened up shop today so my video for today had a bit of content already which meant I didn’t need to really find something to record during today’s slow hour.

I had just finished ranting about an annoying customer on my break and now it was time to return to the daily grind. Never mind, I cringe hearing myself even think up that pun.

My thoughts are interrupted when a short girl with bright purple hair walks in. She’s on the phone and looks quite exasperated.

“Simon, I just arrived at the shop so I have to get off to order- yes I know you want extra expresso. Simon just go finish editing you’re procrastinating!” She sighs as she ends the call.

“Stressful relationship?” I ask, casually making conversation with the short girl.

“Ugh you could put it that way. Being his friend is exhausting but it’s worth it sometimes. He’s lucky the pros outweigh the cons.” She huffs. I feel myself chuckle.

“Ahh but those are always the best friendships, the ones that drive you crazy.” I say.

“I heard that!” I hear Niall yell from the kitchen.

“So anyway, what can I get for you today Miss.”

“Penny, and I would like to order a chai tea latte with extra expresso.” She says. I write down her order.

“That will be 6.15.” I inwardly groan at the shitty price for, well, shitty coffee.

“Thank you.”

The next time she comes in she’s on the phone again.

“Simon! Listen I don’t know where you put your mic don’t ask me, did you check the closet? Didn’t think so, go check. I’m at the coffee shop already, k, bye.”

“Welcome back Penny, your friend alright there?”

“Yeah, he just lost his mic. He has to film tonight so he’s panicking.” She says. I’m curious as to what he does.

“What’s he film?” She looks surprised by my continuation of our conversation but seems happy for the little things in life, like simple back and forth.

“He’s a YouTuber, he’s filming a horror game tonight I think.” I feel my eyebrows raise a little, another YouTuber that’s not something you hear everyday.

“Oh cool, what’s his channel name?”

“Why planning to look him up?” She jokes.

“Who knows, maybe if I have free time I will, it’s been boring around here lately so it could keep me entertained for a bit perhaps.” She laughs.

“Oh it’ll entertain you that’s for sure. He’s got a personality. His channel name is Snowscone.” I feel a chuckle bubble out of my lips.

“I feel like there’s a pun there.”

“Oh yeah, his last name is snow.”

“Oh dear god!” I laugh and she joins too.

“I know! But it’s an extended part of his personality I guess.”

“I’m guessing he likes puns.”

“Every pun every intro.”

“God, I’m looking forward to seeing his videos then.”

“Cool, well I better get him his coffee so he can pull another all-nighter.”

“Alright and what would that be?”

“Just a chai tea latte with extra expresso.”

“Alright that will be 6.15.”

“Thanks.” When she gets her drink she says “Have a good day Baz!” I’m momentarily surprised but then remember that I have a name tag.

That night I look up Snowscones and I do not expect what I find. I found a video from Snowscone and it was a makeup routine. I clicked on the video that said _Subtle Makeup Routine For When You’re Extremely Insecure to Leave the House Without It; Trust me we’ve all been there!_

I don’t expect to see an actual Greek god open up the intro. “Hey guys and welcome back to my channel today, so insecurities, beleaf it or not we all have them.” He slowly takes a sip out of a mug with a leaf on it. I find myself chuckle at his corny joke and find myself watching every video I can until I fall asleep.

He’s not just beautiful, he’s gorgeous. He has bronze golden skin, beautiful blonde hair, normal blue eyes, and moles and freckles galore that I could never imagine wanting to cover up with makeup.

I find myself thinking of him even at work the next day. When Penny shows up I’m excited to see what kind of conversation she has with Simon on the phone, yes it sounds creepy but I’m helpless and kind of obsessed at this point.

But when she shows up she’s not on the phone, I’m kind of disappointed but don’t let it show.

“Good afternoon Penny, how are you and the Friend.”

“You’re still referring to Simon as the friend? I know you at least know his name.”

“Yes but it’s much more fun this way.”

“Alright Baz, you enjoy your simple pleasures in life.”

“Yes Penny, we must if we wish to be happy at all.” I say somberly almost like I’m reciting a sonnet. Can’t help it I’m extra.

“Morbid, I like it.” She chuckles.

“I apologize Penny but I’m a raging homo.” She bursts out laughing and I chuckle along with her.

“Oh my god you’re hilarious, and dramatic I feel like we’ll be good friends!”

“I feel like we already are since you’re always in here to get Snows order.”

“See you do know his name, well his last name, it’s a start at least. Anyways did you see his videos?”

“Yes actually, and keep this between us but you did not mention he was a Greek god. I didn’t even know they still existed I thought they all migrated to the stars long ago.” Penny starts laughing again.

“He’s hardly a Greek god in person but ok, yeah I can kinda see it. Anyways I’d like a chai tea-“

“Latte with extra expresso coming right up.” She chuckles. “You’re a regular now.”

“Guess so.”

That night I learn Snows a scaredy cat when it comes to horror. I think it’s endearing, maybe. Just a little bit.

The next time she comes in she’s not on the phone with Simon either.

“I’ll take my usual and ooh are those scones?”

“Yep newly added to the menu.” I don’t remark on the fact that I made them and the recipe and had to teach Niall specifically how to bake them or that my inspiration cake from Simon’s love for scones. That would be a bit weird to say after all.

“Alright well add that to the usual then.”

“As you wish and that comes out to 9.15.” She looks surprised.

“Only 3 dollars? You’d think it’d be more.”

“Well they’re still new plus a prototype, I haven’t perfected the recipe yet.” She picks up on my slip.

“You made the recipe?”

“Oh! Uh yeah, used to fiddle with baking a bit back but not really good at it.” I don’t mention the fact that I watched a bunch of baking videos from Simon about scones and mixed it with my mother’s cinnamon scone recipe. No that would be embarrassing.

“Well I’ll give them to Simon and report back his taste test!” She salutes as she leaves. “Bye Baz!”

“Bye Penny!”

Penny comes in the next day and the first thing out of her mouth is

“Oh my god it’s practically melting in your mouth and the cinnamon is an excellent little flavor!’ I think you’ve got his scone approval.”

“Was that word for word his review?” She nods, “Damn Penny, how’d you remember that?”

“He won’t shut up about it so I’m here to order 3 more with my usual.”

“Well Alright.” I push down a blush that I feel trying to rise on my cheeks.

The next day it isn’t Penny who comes through the door. It’s the Greek god.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simons perspective next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready kiddies! I literally wrote these 3 chapters at midnight and I’m re-reading them and cringing. Hopefully it gets better :)

When Simon enters the coffee shop I know it’s him. I’d recognize his blonde curls and golden skin anywhere. He’s more beautiful in real life. It’s really doing weird things to my heart and I need it to stop.

“Give me an expresso with extra shots you know what just give me a bucket of expresso no creamer I want to die. Make my heart stop.” Simon speaks, he sounds exhausted and I notice eye-bags. He still manages to look beautiful with them. 

“My apologies but it’s part of protocol to decline your request but, your heart stopping yourself so in a way it’s kind of cannibalism.” I surprise myself a little with my coolness, does Simon just make me suave?

“Did you compliment me morbidly?” He looks a bit taken back, like his tired brain is still processing. 

“Depends on how you want to take it.” I hope and pray that it sounds as cool as it did in my head.

“Pfft you’re funny, Penny was right. Anyways I’ll take a chai tea latte with a shot of expresso please.” His charming little giggle makes me know I made the right choice. 

“Alright and your name?” I say. 

“Simon.” His voice sounds beautiful and a bit gruff with sleepiness. 

“Snow.” I write on his cup just to tease.

“You jerk, you knew my name all along what’s Penny been saying!” He looks beautiful flustered and red. 

“Oh just that you’re loud and keep her up at night from falling out of your chair all the time.” I push further, I can’t help it. 

“That little!” I know he doesn’t really mean it, he says it with too much affection to mean it. 

“Calm down Simon I’m only teasing.” I almost don’t realize I said his first name, it’s the first time saying out loud and I like the feel of it on my tongue.

“.. you!” Simon laughs and so do I.

After Simon gets his drink and leaves Niall looks at me with his arms crossed and his eyebrow raised. 

“I’m not saying anything.” He says as he retreats back to his kitchen. 

———

I walk into Penny and I’s shared apartment to see her lounging on the couch with a book in her hands. 

“So how’d it go?” She asks conversationally but I can tell she’s genuinely curious. Of course she would be she wouldn’t stop pestering me to go in and order my coffee myself even though she passed by the shop on her way to the book store everyday.

“He’s an Egyptian god!” Which she never mentioned!

“That bad huh?” She asks innocently, not looking up from her book.

“And what’s worse is he knows I have a YouTube channel and he’s probably seen it.”

“Oh come on it’s not that bad at least he won’t make fun of you that would make him a hypocrite.” She says.

“What does that mean.”

“He’s a vlogger, I saw him once but I don’t think he knows I know.” She shrugs. 

“Wait really what’s his channel name.” I feel myself bounce almost. I contain it, not much but I try.

“Dunno.” Penny notices the look in my eye. She squints at me. 

“Simon..” I bolt.

“Don’t you dare internet search that poor boy!” She yells after me as I go to my computer in my game room, it’s more of a closet. 

“I’m not internet searching him!” I lie.

“Oh god now you’re stalking him I already know it I can feel it!” She’s just being dramatic.

“I am not!” I say. I manage to find a Facebook first and oh my god, he pulls his hair up in a bun in one photo. 

“You can’t lie to me Simon Snow!”

“Ok, but only a little!” I yell back as I continue to search through his Facebook before looking up his youtube. 

“God dammit Simon.” She hisses under her breath, clearly trying to make sure I heard. 

But I’m not listening anymore because I’ve found his YouTube, TyrannasaurusPitch. I click on one that says _Vlog 158; Dancing With Me, Myself, and Luci. _

It opens with Baz dancing with a Rottweiler. Then plays his intro. It just says his channel name with a kid drawing of a dinosaur digitally drawn next to it. 

Baz is making a latte and eating a biscuit when the dog starts to beg with a low whine. 

“No Luci, not for you. This will upset your tummy.” He says before turning his back to the dog. 

Next cut the dog creeps to the counter and steals a biscuit

“Lucifer no! Bad boy Lucifer you can’t have those! Daddy’s not paying your medical bill this month!” His voice is stern but the last comment is obviously teasing.

In editing it points to both biscuits one is baz’s and luci’s is a dog biscuit, it was a trick all along and the dog thought it got the normal biscuit. 

He pretends to be upset with the dog and offers his biscuit to him. When he turns his nose up he beams proudly and picks him up and spins him. 

“Daddy’s good boy aren’t you!” He coos. The dog, Lucifer, barks happily.

“I’ve got work in an hour and 21 minutes let’s see Luci shall we have...” he pauses for dramatic effect, “a dance!”

*happy Rottweiler noises* appears on the screen under Luci.

He picks up Luci like he’s not a 150 something pound Rottweiler and they dance dramatically. The tango, the waltz, and ballroom all while Baz is in sweatpants and a crop top. 

When the video ends I find myself laughing at the fact his dogs name is Lucifer and find myself blushing at his crop top and when he said daddy’s good boy, dear lord someone spray me with holy water. And he’s strong and has abs, someone end me. He’s literally an Egyptian god with his dark skin. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon gets upset with Baz.

The next morning I wake up, abruptly and with something heavy. I open my eyes and see Luci wagging his tail excitedly and staring at me with his big mouth open. His mouth is about the size of my head.

Luci is part mastiff which makes him bigger than most Rottweilers and people don’t usually adopt Rotties anyways so the shelter thought for sure he’d be put down. That was until I walked in and asked which dog was there biggest and had been in there longest. Fast forward 3 years later and we’ve been inseparable since. 

“Good morning baby boy, how are you this fine morning?” He barks a loud rumbling sound from his belly. It brings a smile to my lips. “Luci as much as I love you, I’m pretty sure you’re crushing my ribs. How about we go get you some food, yeah?” He barks again and jumps off my bed, his nub for a tail wiggles more. 

I walk downstairs with him on my heels. We walk into the kitchen and I fill up his dog bowl. The one thing I like about my kitchen is that I don’t have an island and instead have a bar against the stair case. It gives me a lot of room to play with Luci in the middle kitchen floors and the goes into the open spaced living room. And down a hall is the door and storage closet. 

It’s not a huge flat but it’s definitely not small. It was the last thing my dad bought for me after he disowned me for my, well, preferences. He still continues to pay for my college though so I’m thankful. Though the rent on this place is enough that I need my job and my YouTube to pay for it. 

But on the side I study economics and literature. I think I want to be a teacher but most definitely a professor because I cannot handle high schoolers. 

Luci comes bounding up to me sticking his big head up under my arm as I try making my morning coffee. A few benefits of being a barista is that I can make good drinks at home. 

“Lucifer, down!” He listens obediently and waits for me to finish making my drink. Once I’m waiting for it to cool off I walk to the middle of the kitchen and beckon him over. He bounds over happily and jumps into my arms. He’s lucky I still work out even after I quit football. He’s a big dog, a healthy 154 pounds, well for a Rottie Mastiff mix. 

I spin him and set him down. 

“Do you wanna maybe,”I pause and then spin around again with his leash, “go for a walk!” He barks happily vibrates so much I think he’ll fall over. I chuckle and attach him to his leash. 

I grab my coffee and down it. Then grab my phone and camera, to vlog of course. 

As I leaves my flat I get a wary glance at Luci. I don’t care about the judges and stares, I love my Rottie and my followers do to. The videos with Luci do much better most of the time

I takes out my camera and begin. 

“Hey guys, good morning! I’m taking Luci and myself out on his morning walk and the weather is actually quite nice. The schedule for today is pretty laid back. Work at noon, and that’s pretty much it. I do have a morning shift tomorrow though so get ready, I know you guys like those videos and trust me I do to. Dev and Niall can be pretty funny.” Luci barks and I take it as an agreement. “Luci agrees.” I chuckle. “So I will see you guys in the car on my way to work and hopefully in the break room with some customer drama because we all know there are some shitty customers out there.” 

I stop the recording and jog the rest of our walk and jog back to our flat. Luci needs a lot of exercise and I tend to enjoy the adrenaline rush so it works out. 

When I get back home I change into my work clothes, fill up Luci’s bowls and then climb into my car. I set my camera up again. 

“Hey good to see you again, so I’m on my way to work and Luci got a few more stares around St. James park and a duck tried to attack him but Luci is such a love bug that he just sat there and looked at me to come save him or explain what the duck was trying to do. I swear the duck was on something I just kept flapping its wings. But Luci, the adorable baby, was just so confused I felt bad. So I thought you guys would enjoy that bit of knowledge, honestly Rottie Mastiffs are not bad once they are trained and taken care of, and exercised and socialized. So if I hear another person try to argue with me I might just kill someone. But anyways guys I’m at work so I’ll see you soon.”

I walk into the coffee shop and clock in. As I walk back behind the counter to see Niall, he gives my shoulder a pat. 

“Register is all yours, also Melissa will be here a bit late, sent me a text saying her bus is running late.”

“Alright, lets hope we aren’t busy while we wait for our second bar.” He shoots me a hand sign of good luck before finishing his drink and handing it to the customer.

“We’re pretty slow today so we shouldn’t really need her.” 

“Ah don’t jinx it!” I whine. As we laugh and joke I see Simon-bloody-Snow walk through the glass doors and the bells ring mocks me. I went to sleep late last night thinking of his smile. 

“Hey.” He says. He’s got deep bags under his eyes and he looks like he hasn’t slept in a while. 

“Hey, you look like shit.” The moment I say it I know it’s not a good idea. My voice doesn’t carry as teasing it carries as mocking but that’s just my voice and- fuck, now he’s glaring at me.

“Gee thanks asshole, I’ll just take my regular.” He glares, hard. It hurts.

“Uh- I didn’t-“ I stammer.

“Save it, too tired to hear it.” I keep quiet and punch in his order. He takes his coffee from Niall when it’s ready and shoots me the bird as he leaves. Niall looks at me with sympathy. 

Well fuck. 

———-

What an asshole, I think. I had pulled two all-nighters and had looked forward to seeing Baz for my fix of coffee to finish my editing but I didn’t expect him to call me shit and mock me. 

And I thought he was cute and sweet and maybe was starting to have a crush on him but not anymore, what an asshole.

When I get home I slam the door a bit to loudly and I’m sure Penny hears it. She sticks her head out of her bedroom door down the hallway.

“You Alright Si?” She asks with a concerned look on her face.

“No but I will be, just give me some space.” Thankfully she doesn’t ask questions just nods her head and goes back in her room. I go into my bedroom and eat my mouth watering-ly good scones and drink my chai.

I pull up YouTube on my computer and a YouTube video of Baz’s is recommended to me. I really don’t want to watch it but, I’m weak and it looks interesting.

Halfway through the video of Baz and his friends (Dev and Niall) I realize two things. 1) Baz is gay, which I don’t know why I want to know, well, ok, yeah I know why, never mind and 2) Baz teases his friends a lot and it comes out hostile sometimes but it seems to be just his voice and the way he is. He never means true harm and his friends don’t take it personal.

And now I feel like an idiot for being so hostile after one comment. I guess I was just so tired that anything could put me in a bad mood but still, I feel embarrassed for how I acted.

Fuck!

The next morning when I go into the coffee shop it’s obvious Baz doesn’t expect to see me. He doesn’t look mad though so I take that as a good thing. I step up to the counter and look down at my hands. It’s quiet for a bit before-

“I didn’t realize you were teasing.” I rush out

“I should’ve known not to tease you like that so harshly.” He rushes out 

We both say at the same time. We both look at each other and chuckle a bit until we’re laughing a little harder. 

“How did you realize I was teasing?” Baz asks, genuinely confused. 

“From how you treat dev and Niall-“ I stop abruptly. 

“You, how do you know there names and even about them?” He asks with a confused tilt to his brow.

“Uh.. I may or may not watch some of your vlogs.” I say with a blush.

Baz is blushing as well.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” 

“Well, um so I’m guessing you want your usual?” He continues. 

“Oh! Uh yeah thank you.” I stammer. 

When Ilook at my cup I see “hey wanna collab maybe? Here’s my number (xxx-xxx-xxxx)

I only notices it when I get home and I squeal. Penny hears from the other room.

“Simon what the actual fuck?”


	4. Chapter 4

I haven’t heard from Simon since the day before yesterday when I gave him my number. I immediately think he’s just not interested but I know that’s just my insecurity talking. 

I’m currently editing one of my vlogs and it’s one with Dev and Niall in it so I know it’s going to do well. The videos with them always do, probably because our humor together is sarcastic, witty, and dramatic. My favorite vlogs to film is when I have morning shift because of our early shenanigans. And Dev visits the shop before we open. 

Our most recent morning vlog we recited Shakespearean talk and threw in some drama. 

The video opens with me in the employee bathroom.

“I’ve got opening this morning which means I can spend my time in the employee bathroom on my hair and Niall isn’t here to stop me!” Baz flashes the camera an excited smirk. He does a French braid to bun in his hair and looks proud afterwards. Baz looks to his buzzing phone and his demeanor changes.

“Niall just text me he says he’s here.” Baz sprints out of the bathroom to the front of the shop.

“Honey I’m home!” Niall yells.

“Hast thou cometh back fromst hard labor my dear! All the way to minest own home just to spot me!” Baz throws on a fake female voice.

“Yes!” Niall shouts!

“Honey I’m here as well!” Dev enters the shop behind Niall. Dev and Niall look at each other.

“Honey, hast thou cheated?!” Niall screeches.

“Oh Niall dear I hasn’t!” Baz says with a gasp.

“No you have not but... Niall has! Niall don’t try to pin your cheating on your own husband!” Dev speaks.

“Oh I’m feeling quite faint now!” Baz says.

A lot of people are fond of our videos together because we are like family. Dev and Niall always say they’re the dads and I’m the baby but nonetheless still family. That comment they made earned them a snarky insult from me but they just squeezed their chests and said “Thank you for blessing us with your compliments dear son.”

I’m lounging on my bed with Luci at my feet when my phone rings. I pick it up and see Niall’s caller ID. 

“Yes?” I say into the receiver.

“Bazzy boy! Hey we were wondering if you’d like to go with me and Dev to the skate rink today!” Niall said loudly, I could faintly hear  Dev on the other line.

“Just because you have a day off doesn’t mean I do.” I sigh. Luci looks at me and I just pet his head reassuringly as Niall and Dev whine and try to make me skip work. I don’t concede.

“No, I’m not skipping. I have rent to pay this month.” I hear more bickering. “You two go enjoy your date, I’ll just sip my latte and come home from work late at night all by myself with Luci and read a book and then go to bed.”

“Damn Baz, your plans sound so depressing.” When he says that I think he’s right. I didn’t mean for it to sound that way but it kind of does. 

“Anyways give Dev my platonic affection and hang up.” I hear a snort on the other end and know it’s Dev. My suspicions are confirmed when he yells into the phone.

“I don’t need your crappy boy affection! I’ve got a man!” He shouts. Then it goes quiet and I know Niall gave him a fat kiss for that one.

“Hang up before you two have sex please!” I say before ending the call on them myself. I look at Luci who’s looking at me with his puppy face. “What am I going to do with them Lucifer?” I say as I toss my phone across my bed.

Luci barks and sets his head down on his paws.

“You and me both buddy.” 

Then I receive a text. Fucking finally I think. I also most certainly do not lunge for my phone.

——-

I don’t know why I haven’t text him yet. Well, ok I do but, I don’t know I’m nervous! What if I messed this up and he meant to give it to someone else, (not likely). Or what if I say something wrong again and he hates me, (very likely). 

Penny is tired of me sitting on the sofa and staring at my phone. I’ve already plugged his number in. Ugh but, what if!-

“Simon just text the man already!” As if Penny can read my thoughts she shouts from her room. Fuck it, I think.

_Hey this is Simon just checking up if we are still down for the collab :)_

I practically throw my phone at my sofa as I scoot back and shield my eyes. When I hear a ping I jump for my phone.

_ Sounds good, when and where specifically would you like to collab. Do you have any ideas as to what we’d be doing or filming?  _

The git types with perfect grammar. I should not find that endearing. But then I think. Crap! What would we be doing? He’s a vlogger and I just do miscellaneous things. I mean- oh! We could do a tag!

_Yeah we could do it at my flat, we could do a tag maybe and when are you free?_

_ I’m free tomorrow at noon, thank you for asking me about my schedule rather than just setting up a time and wondering if it works. I appreciate it. _

I feel a blush rise to my cheeks. He appreciates me! 

_Yeah cool! If you want you could choose the tag?_

_ Sure! How about boyfriend does my makeup challenge? I haven’t worn makeup before and I heard you’re pretty good at it. _

Oh my god he recommended a boyfriend tag. I think I might scream.

_Yeah! Also once you have makeup on you’ll never want to take it off trust me!_

_ I look forward to it then, I’ve never worn makeup because my families pretty conservative but I’m excited to try something new! _

I actually do scream this time. 

When the day comes I’m freaking out. I cleaned the flat and made it spotless. I cleaned my makeup brushes which I never do. And I tried brushing my hair (it didn’t work but it’s the thought that counts).

Penny says she’s never seen me this excited. I have to disagree, last time I was this excited was when I first went on a date with my ex Agatha. Then I had to explain to her that this is definitely not a date! 

I’m just setting up my camera in the office when I hear the door bell ring. I immediately rush to get it and I quickly compose myself before opening it. 

“Hey!” I say when I see Baz. Christ, his hair is pulled up and he’s- he’s wearing jeans. I keep the thought internalized.

“Hey.” He says. I invite him in and it’s only a little awkward. I show him to the office and sit down with him before we start discussing how this is going to work.

“Alright.-“ He begins. “I’ve never been in or done a video like this so you’re going to have to explain everything to me.” I feel a little proud, there is something I’m good at that he isn’t.

“Alright, well first I’ll introduce you, then I’ll do your makeup and we banter and that’s basically the whole video. Pretty simple not much to explain.” He nods. 

“Eloquently explained Snow.” I shake my head at him. 

“Ready?” I ask before turning on the camera. He nods and I click the button.

The camera starts recording.

“Hello everyone, it’s Simon and we have a guest joining us today. Tyrannus Basilton Grimm Pitch.” He says and looks proud of himself. 

“Wow I’m surprised you knew my full name.” Baz says with a controlled look of surprise.

“I did my research, the only time book reports ever came in handy actually.”

“How lovely.” 

“Yes, So today I will be doing his makeup. He’s never worn makeup before and I have no idea what I’m going to do so we’re going to wing it!” Baz looks scared.

“Simon Snow, if you ruin my skin I will have no choice but to drown you. Please don’t just wing it.”

“We’re going to try!” Simon says, smiling into the camera. Baz looks horrified and looks around as if looking for an exit route.

Scene cuts to Baz and Simon. Baz has his hair in a higher bun and has a hair band keeping his hair out of his face. 

“I think the most difficult part is going to be matching your skin tone. You’re like deathly pale/dark Egyptian god.” Baz looks at him with an eyebrow raise.

“Why thank you snow, not to bad yourself.” Simon rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t mean it as a bad thing Baz, just a clear statement that you may be a vampire.” Baz looks unamused.

“Call me a vampire one more time and no one will find your body.” Simon looks up at Baz from where he was trying to match foundations on Baz’s hand. He looks at the camera with a strained smile. 

“You heard it here folks, If you can’t find my body well, we know who did it.” He chuckles. “Penny will save me if you kidnap me Baz.” He says going back to color matching.

“Oh yeah, no, she’s in on it. She’s tired of you keeping her up at night so she’s helping me hide the body.” Simon looks into Baz’s eyes, a grimace on his face.

“Great, new she’d find a way to get me.” Baz looks amused with a smirk. He looks in the camera and pushes a hair behind his ear. Simon’s gaze lingers but he quickly looks away. “Great, So I think I’ve finally matched your pale dark Egyptian vampire skin.”

“Not a vampire.”

“So we can finally get on to the makeup part!” Simon says. “Alright So Baz I’m going to need you turn your face towards me and keep still or else it won’t apply right.” 

“I think I’m most worried about you fidgeting Snow.” Simon shrugs and it’s not reassuring. As Simon goes to apply the foundation Baz jerks back.

“Why the hell is that so bloody cold!”

“It’s foundation Baz.” He says as if that explains everything.

“Oh right of course! I totally get it now. Eloquent as always Snow.” Simon rolls his eyes at the phrase. 

“Now come back and stay still.” Baz sighs but does as told. Simon is very close to Baz’s face and Baz has a mask of indifference on.

It then cuts to contour.

“What the fuck is that?”

“This is contour, you know to make your cutting cheekbones even more sharp.” Simon says. 

“Great more weapons!” 

“I’m terrified.” Simon says not looking the least bit terrified, of anything he has a fond smile on his face.

Simon applies the contour and then it cuts to eyeshadow.

“So I was thinking gold and red tones. I think it would contrast nicely with your skin. What do you think?” 

“You’re the makeup artist Snow.”

“Yes but I don’t want to die! You might kill me if this turns out horribly.”

“I’d never actually kill you Snow.” His voice sounds to soft. “Be honest, Penny would want to get the killing blow!” He covers. Simon isn’t reassured.

“Alright well I’m just going to try my best!” 

“Don’t fuck it up Snow.” Baz says.

“Comforting!” Simon speaks.

Simon leans in close to Baz to apply a deep brown eyeshadow as the base. A brown 5 tones darker than his actual skin. Baz’s eyes are closed and Simon has never seen his face this up close before. His heart starts to thud and he hopes no one can hear it. Then he blends a lighter brown near the outer rim. Then it tones to orange. He cuts the crease with concealer and adds a gold shine on it. He lines the under arch or Baz’s eyebrow with concealer to outline his arch. Simon finally adds a light blush and a bit of a deep red under his eyes. Then he dabs a white shimmer in the corners of his eyes. 

“Alright I have false lashes but I don’t know if you’d be comfortable with them.” When Baz opens his eyes Simon feels his breath leave his lungs.

“Do me up, all or nothing!” Baz says. 

“Alright, I also have some shades of lipstick you can chose from.” Simon says. Baz instantly imagines marking his neck with gold. It would look lovely against his tanned skin.

“Alright,” He shakes out of his stupor. “Let’s go with gold.”

“Bold choice.”

“Thank you, I tend to be pretty bold.” Simon nods his head.

“The entirety of you screams it. Or maybe that’s just vampire.”

“Simon Snow I could literally head bump you right now. Don’t start the vampire shit again.” 

“And I could pluck out your eyelashes, try me hoe.”

“Well damn.” They both chuckle and soon it turns it belly filled laughing. 

It cuts to the moment where Simon has to apply Baz’s lipstick.

“Would you like to do the honors?” Simon asks.

“I might fuck it up, I’ve never done this before.”

“Alright I’ll do it, just don’t move ok?” Baz nods before Simon grabs the lipstick.

He holds his chin and lightly presses the lipstick to his top lip following his Cupid’s curve. Then slowly applying it to the bottom.

“Don’t fuck it don’t fuck it up.” Simon lowly whispers. When done Simon smiles. 

“Well you definitely didn’t fuck up Snow, so thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome Basilton!”

“I take it back.”

They reach the outro.

“So what do you think about your look?”

“I think you did a good enough job and you didn’t fuck up. That’s about as much of a compliment as you’re getting out of me. Also is it just me or does wearing lipstick just make you want to kiss someone?” Baz glances at Simons lips for a split second, Simon doesn’t notice. 

“Yeah it does that to you! Something about lipstick.” They look at each other and nod. “Well alright everybody that was today’s video and collab. Thank you Tyrannus-“

“I will skin you alive.”

“For joining me today! I had fun!”

“I didn’t hate it.”

“Well great!”

Then it ends. 

“So Snow how do I take this off?”

“I’ll give you some wipes you can use.” 

“Lovely.” He checks his watch and clicks his tongue. “I have to be home soon, Luci needs to be fed.”

“Alright I’ll walk you out, this was fun we should maybe do it again sometime.” I say, nervously.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” God Baz looks gorgeous with makeup on. 

“Alright well bye!”

“Goodbye Snow.”

When he shuts the door I miss him. I don’t think about what that means.

**Author's Note:**

> Gosh I’m trying guys.


End file.
